Don't Buy A Malibu

Actually more appropriately don't buy a cursed Malibu.  On a whim one day I took Nina dog and we went car shopping.  I bought a shiny new-to-me Chevy Malibu.

I loved that little car the minute I got behind the wheel - it got 26 mpg, it was comfortable in town as well as on the highway, it handled like it was on rails and most importantly - I could fit the Danes in the back seat WAY better than I could in my S-10. 

I stopped at the store on the way home, got a nice bottle of wine and stuff to make a yummy dinner.  **snicker** So maybe I bought the car and THEN thought I should inform the live-in boy friend of my purchase.  **grin**  Needless to say all three years after I bought that car it was brought up that I always did what I wanted and didn't consult him - I merely informed him of my decisions.  RED FLAG #1

Four days later the boyfriend and I were downtown having lunch when a tornado came through - hmmm it produced "Sonic Gusts".  To this day I have no clue what a "Sonic Gust" is, what I do know is that they cause your windows to shatter because of the pressure and forces and blah blah blah.  YEP...that's right kids.  I lost the windows in my new-to-me-still-have-the-temp-tags Malibu. RED FLAG #2. 

September 18, 2009 - I was minding my own business, sitting at a red light about to take a sip of my **perfect** cup of coffee from the Dancing Mule (shameless plug - they are by far the best coffee shop on earth) when a mindless nineteen year old was too busy texting to see my Malibu.  Not only did he crush the rear of my shiny silver car, but he spilled my coffee in my Coach purse (read perfect cup of hot coffee now drowning the contents of and ruining a limited edition signature Coach purse).  There are several rules dedicated to this incident  **NOT HAPPY**  RED FLAG #3

November 23, 2010 - I had just left the lawyers office from settling the September accident and was on my way to Nixa to take two of my most favorite pups for a walk.  Ok...take note, its over a year later and I just signed the papers to settle the Sept. 18 2009 accident.  Duly noted??  I was sitting at the light when **WHAM** mindless sixteen year old was texting and freaking out because her baby brother was choking in the backseat  (There are rules about this too - lets move past asking why she wasn't pulled over trying to help the choking kid) nails me!  Yes thats right, the very day I settle accident #1, I am hit again.  RED FLAG #4

January 25, 2011 - AGAIN sitting at a red light (there are about a dozen red light rules).  A very nice lady pulls out of SAM'S and plows into me and two other cars.  **SIGH**  Yes that is correct...accident #3 in sixteen months.  Uhhuh...I may or may not have had a minor meltdown (read major freak out) when I realized that I had just gotten my happy little Malibu back on New Years Eve from the previous accident. RED FLAG #5.

Well the shiny silver paw print encrusted Malibu was put to rest and promptly replaced by a Scion Xb...also paw print encrusted!  **shakes pom-poms**