Where Fun and Fitness Come Together

Since I moved to lovely Springfield - there have only been a couple things that were consistent in my life, no matter what, one of those is Jazzercise.

The women of Jazzercise really are a little family - it doesn't matter what time of day you take class, which instructors you prefer or even which class format is your favorite.  Everyone really does get to know one another and we have fun in and out of class.  Its more than 55 minutes of working out to your favorite songs of today and yesterday - its shaking your booty with your besties while laughing, singing and burning calories!  Can I get a "Wooooo"!!

Tonight we had practice for the Springfield Cardinals game.  Tomorrow night just before the game starts we get 10 minutes of life in the lime light out on the field to strut, shake it and of course do the funky monkey.  :) 

Sunrises Mean Its A New Day

I was out with Carlos the wonder puppy this morning and the sunrise was AMAZING!  That big ball of warmth was poking out over the trees (and the Girl Scout Building) with vivid pink and orange rays just bursting in every direction.

It makes 5am wake-up calls TOTALLY worth it, I love my  job!

Don't Buy A Malibu

Actually more appropriately don't buy a cursed Malibu.  On a whim one day I took Nina dog and we went car shopping.  I bought a shiny new-to-me Chevy Malibu.

I loved that little car the minute I got behind the wheel - it got 26 mpg, it was comfortable in town as well as on the highway, it handled like it was on rails and most importantly - I could fit the Danes in the back seat WAY better than I could in my S-10. 

I stopped at the store on the way home, got a nice bottle of wine and stuff to make a yummy dinner.  **snicker** So maybe I bought the car and THEN thought I should inform the live-in boy friend of my purchase.  **grin**  Needless to say all three years after I bought that car it was brought up that I always did what I wanted and didn't consult him - I merely informed him of my decisions.  RED FLAG #1

Four days later the boyfriend and I were downtown having lunch when a tornado came through - hmmm it produced "Sonic Gusts".  To this day I have no clue what a "Sonic Gust" is, what I do know is that they cause your windows to shatter because of the pressure and forces and blah blah blah.  YEP...that's right kids.  I lost the windows in my new-to-me-still-have-the-temp-tags Malibu. RED FLAG #2. 

September 18, 2009 - I was minding my own business, sitting at a red light about to take a sip of my **perfect** cup of coffee from the Dancing Mule (shameless plug - they are by far the best coffee shop on earth) when a mindless nineteen year old was too busy texting to see my Malibu.  Not only did he crush the rear of my shiny silver car, but he spilled my coffee in my Coach purse (read perfect cup of hot coffee now drowning the contents of and ruining a limited edition signature Coach purse).  There are several rules dedicated to this incident  **NOT HAPPY**  RED FLAG #3

November 23, 2010 - I had just left the lawyers office from settling the September accident and was on my way to Nixa to take two of my most favorite pups for a walk.  Ok...take note, its over a year later and I just signed the papers to settle the Sept. 18 2009 accident.  Duly noted??  I was sitting at the light when **WHAM** mindless sixteen year old was texting and freaking out because her baby brother was choking in the backseat  (There are rules about this too - lets move past asking why she wasn't pulled over trying to help the choking kid) nails me!  Yes thats right, the very day I settle accident #1, I am hit again.  RED FLAG #4

January 25, 2011 - AGAIN sitting at a red light (there are about a dozen red light rules).  A very nice lady pulls out of SAM'S and plows into me and two other cars.  **SIGH**  Yes that is correct...accident #3 in sixteen months.  Uhhuh...I may or may not have had a minor meltdown (read major freak out) when I realized that I had just gotten my happy little Malibu back on New Years Eve from the previous accident. RED FLAG #5.

Well the shiny silver paw print encrusted Malibu was put to rest and promptly replaced by a Scion Xb...also paw print encrusted!  **shakes pom-poms**

You Have A Choice

The most wonderful thing about the USA is freedom.  Particularly freedom of speech - I have a blog and I can write whatever I feel the need to talk about.  Since there are no names associated with this blog - the only thing you can do is read it, form an opinion and move on.  You'll never actually be able to know who or what Im talking about.

That being said, if you are offended by a post or think something is about you - well than that is your own choice.

Its MY BLOG...

I haven't really blogged anything in about a month now - the main reason being I just didn't have anything nice to say.  Now since this is my blog, and for the most part it is anonymous - I can say what I want to say!

Here is an update - I could care less about certain subjects.
Lets start with infertility - I don't want kids.  I am very comfortable in living my life in the style that I have grown accustomed.  That being said...most of the stuff that you women OBSESS over mean nothing to me.  I don't care that you can't have kids, I don't care about your cycle, I don't care about your miscarriages or failed adoptions.  I DON'T CARE!  I don't want to hear about them in EVERY SINGLE conversation we have - especially when we are out in public around people you've never met before that are my friends from other circles.  Did I mention I don't care??  Oh and the fact that you can't have a single conversation - ever - without mentioning your infertility makes me not want to spend any time around you or even answer my phone.

You're being "busy and overbooked" - yeah lets go ahead and throw it out there that if you volunteer for something and then spend every chance you get complaining about said commitment and how you don't have the time for it or you have no idea why you said yes -- do yourself and the commitment a favor and step down from the position. 

Having suggestions for improvement on an "international replicatible system" for a networking group is asinine.  If you look at a chapter or group - and are given documents with a Code of Ethics and Contract For Profitability before your membership is completed, it is safe to say that you know EXACTLY what is expected of you and to what standards you will be held accountable.  If you don't care for one or two of the items it is worth mentioning, however if you disagree with the entire intent, purpose and system of doing business than perhaps that is NOT the group for you.

Divorce - now who am I to judge, I have never been married.  I am now single after being in a seven year, serious, committed relationship.  For over a year I wanted out of that relationship and when I finally decided it was time to get out, it took me another three months to finally get my life together and get out of the relationship.  My point is that after being miserable -I got out.  I did what was right for me - I evaluated things from my perspective, my morals, my dreams, my life in general.  It seems to me that if you're unhappy and  counseling hasn't made things better, than perhaps divorcing is the best option.  Why suffer through life with someone who isn't making you happy??

That ladies and gentlemen is just a snippet of how I really feel...if you don't like it, well then move on to the next post which is probably back to the bubbly happy me.

No Really, Be There!!

When someone has a baby...you be there for the person.  You help them overnight, take them meals and ice cream in the hospital, send flowers, bring presents for baby, run to the house to feed the cat and grab things mom discovered she needed, bring them home from the hospital and run them around because mom can't drive yet, hold the cute little monkey for a while.  Its sort of what friends do - there is nothing to gain, there is nothing motivating you.  You just do it because its the right thing to do and you be glad in it.

Now that we know what to do, there are a lot of things you don't do: be selfish, be rude, be stand-offish, divert attention to yourself, start fights, cause drama, refuse to be supportive, refuse to come visit, play games, play guilt trips, create more work for mom, break a water main in the subdivision so there is no running water (that was random, but nonetheless SO happened).

There have been a couple times this week when it took all I had to hold my tongue because sometimes people need to be slapped.

That is all.

Be There!

When you're laying in the pool with a friend who starts having contractions, you sorta start keeping track of things.  When you and that friend head out for dinner and the contractions get stronger and closer together...you really start keeping track of things.  And of course when the fireworks on the 4th of July end and the friend says "hey lets head down to Labor and Delivery now, shall we"...you sort of go without hesitation and of course you stay for moral support!

Now I must confess...children are not exactly my forte.  (Read I don't even really like kids and don't know the first thing about them)  I had the privilege of learning first hand about 100 more reasons why I have NO desire to have children.  For roughly 24 hours I watched a friend go through every single emotion humanly possible and enough pain to scare me half to death.  She did it like a champ though...I'm proud of her!  (Read I have absolutely no idea what it is like to be pregnant, be a single mom or go through actual child birth - nor do I wish to learn.)

Joy: FINALLY having her body back, being able to hold little Owen, and of course the simple fact that he was a miracle baby that she thought she would NEVER be able to have.
Exhaustion: Mental and physical.
Sadness: That the baby's dad is a total asshole and loser, the loss of her mother and the fact that she couldn't be there during this most AMAZING time.
Fear: Its not only frightening to go through child birth, but its really scary to think about being a mom.
Happiness: For family and friends sending texts and love constantly!! 
Pain: That goes without saying - refer back to YAY for good drugs.

I will say that of all the people on earth that I could have shared this experience with, I'm glad that it was her.  Giving birth is really a lot of hurry up and wait...there is "checking", "effacing", "membranes", "contractions", "breathing", "positioning", drugs - oh there are drugs!  Thank GOD for pitosin, epidurals and phenegran.    No matter what you think will happen or how you think things will come along...it really boils down to mother nature and that kiddo taking their course of action in accordance with their plans! But it is a really neat thing to experience (read its scary and time consuming, sometimes icky, but a miracle all in itself.)

Having not quite wrapped my head around the whole thing - I'm just happy that I could be there to support her, hand her ice ships and squeeze her hand during the process!! Most of all I'm excited that baby Owen is here...healthy and perfect!  I mean...look at the little foot!!  **sniffle**

Enjoy The Little Things

The landscapers wife was out of town for a couple days (a week or so ago, I'm a little behind in blogging).  THAT was delightful!!  The poor guy was working like a dog trying to get a big project done, but nonetheless made time for me since the wife was two states over!  (I shouldn't giggle, and yet I do.)

It was nice to be able to swing by and say hello, it was even nicer to be able to curl up in his arms.  Kissing under the moonlight on the porch.  Sitting there while he rubbed my back.  Actually enjoying our time together not worried about anything but one another.

Indeed - its the little things that make me happy.

You Can Fire People!

I did a promotion in March with HalfPriceOzarks.com - it is an affiliate of KY3.  I had an amazing response and as such have 17 really good new clients come from the promotion!!  One of the clients that I received, however; has been a pain since day one.  I spent countless time on the phone with her answering questions and talking to her about service.  She had a million questions and seemed to be quite high maintenance.  I explained that I had a sitter who lived less than a mile from her residence, was delightful as well as licensed, bonded and insured.  After a few conversations and answering all of her questions she asked me to have the sitter set up a consultation for her and her pets.

He did so.  The consultation went well and service was provided as requested.  Upon her arrival home she said he was delightful, the pets were well cared for and even sent him a tip to show her appreciation for services rendered.

She called again for service, when I called her sitter he declined the job.  I thought it was odd since he was so close to her home.  He said simply I he wasn't available for her service.  I assigned a new sitter.  This time after the consultation I got a phone call voicing some concern that she is somewhat overbearing, course and very very meticulous about her 5 birds.  I took it with a grain of salt and moved on - I mean, after all - if someone is hiring an in home pet sitter they care quite a bit about their pets.

After this service I received a long detailed email explaining that she didn't feel her sitter fed the proper amount of fruits and vegetables to her birds.  Upon speaking with the sitter, I learned that since the birds weren't eating all that was put out the sitter put out less food so that it wouldn't spoil since the client had expressed multiple times that birds are quite susceptible to botulism.  Makes perfect sense to me.  Way to look out for the well being of the birds and go above and beyond.  EXCELLENT!  Uhm the client did not see it as such - but rather than my sitter was neglecting her birds and not following her instructions.  She paid her invoice in full, without a tip this time and requested this sitter not provide service for her again.  Okay Dokay.

She called AGAIN to request service and requesting her original sitter whom she spoke so highly about.  He again declined the job.  (I might point out again that he lives less than a mile from her home)  I had another sitter call her.  She told the sitter she had canceled her trip and hung up on the sitter.  RUDE!

I having just had my wisdom teeth out and not feeling overly inclined to have to bite my tongue emailed the client and said quite simply:

xxxx,
At this point I do not have any sitters available for you. xxxx said she called this morning and you were rude to her and also hung up on her.  You might try xxxx with "xxxx" at xxx-xxxx.  He has been in business for a while and is licensed, bonded and insured. 


Her reply:

My husband and I had already decided your services were less than acceptable and did not meet even our most minimal standards. 

As far as rudeness., I was not rude. I stated that we did not need services., Someone was to have phoned us last week and due to the fact no one phoned to make arrangements, our trip had to be cancelled. Rude is the fact you pretend to provide services that you do not have. 

I had many friends that were interested in how well your company did/or didn't do. Needless to say, your performance speaks for itself and will be shared. You may consider yourselves dismissed from our employment. I am sure my husband & I will have more to say, should you wish to phone to discuss this.

My reply:

We seem to be on the same page as far as your service is concerned - I wish you luck in finding someone who can suit your needs. xxxx who provided your original service lives less than a mile from you and did not wish to continue service for you.  You RAVED about how wonderful he was and even sent him a tip after service was completed.  If you wish to tell your friends how awful we are, that is fine.  We have a shining reputation and in 11 years of pet sitting you are the first client who has ever been less than pleased.


What I wanted to say was:

You have been a pain in my ass since day one; you want top notch service and yet want to negotiate the price, your original sitter that you spoke so highly about has declined to work for you for reasons unknown to me - even though he lives less than a mile from your home, you call constantly with questions that are clearly answered in writing on the website, in our conversations and in your pet sitting agreement.  If you feel the need to trash my company to your friends, please feel free to do so. If they are anything like you - I don't want to subject myself or my sitters to their ridiculousness.  Furthermore upon calling the sitter I recommended to you I found out he had already dismissed you and also doesn't want to deal with you.  Oh and if SO MANY of your friends had inquired about us, then why didn't any of them call?? After all you just LOVED your original sitter.

Don't Call His Bluff!!

So apparently there are no lines in the sand when it comes to certain people.  I am a very flirtatious person - this I know to be true.  A past client of mine from a former company and her hubby are both friends of mine on facebook - we are all chamber members and of course big animal rescue people.  That being said, its not uncommon to chat with either of them on facebook.  Its also not uncommon to say something that gets turned into a sexual innuendo by him...regardless of how innocent it may seem.  That is just the name of the game.

That being said two days ago he and I were chatting on facebook and he was more less taking the random flirting to a whole new level - it went from funny PG13 to XXX really quick.  By the end of the conversation I had been informed that he and his wife were separated and that he was more than just a little interested in getting to know me better.  Uhm, wait, what?  The ultimate cute and cuddly super couple is separated??  The iconic love birds are getting a divorce??  The two most supportive and loving parents on earth are no longer attending football games together??  WOW ...ok still processing that one.

Yesterday I was laying out at the pool when he texted me.  When I said I was laying in the pool he asked for a picture.  I of course sent him one...of my toes, the end of my floatie, a beer and the pool.  The caption "its good to be the boss".  He replied "Yes it is, glad I'm the boss - can I join you".  I laughed and said if he could find me he could join me, but he had to rub sunscreen on everyone's back at the pool.  (That is only funny because I wasn't the only one at the pool.  For fear of being rude and judgmental I'll refrain from describing the others at the pool.) The flirting continued but was more or less harmless...kinda. 

Anyways today he texted me and said "Good Morning Sunshine".  He was right around the corner from my place working on a water job.  He made the comment that if he had my address he'd take me to bed.  I laughed and gave him my address (thinking absolutely NOTHING of it).  Well I thought nothing of it until he walked into my apartment and proceeded to strip!

I apparently have no filter and no moral compass.  The foreplay was fun...he is very complimentary and all about making sure a woman's needs are met.  Enough said.  Nearly two hours later he was on his way back to the office...I suggested he stop at home and take a shower, taking time to wash out his beard.  Just sayin...I mean, after all, he does have a shop full of guys who work for him.

Do you think they have fans and iced tea in hell?

Enter and Win!

A friend of mine works for a local TV station in town, and while he knows my FIRM beliefs on advertising and following a structured plan for business, he thought a cutest pet contest would be a great way to get my name out and create brand awareness.  I was scared to death that my phones would blow up like the welfare hotline, much like they did after my half-price deal of the day.  Thankfully, they have not.  Since the contest runs for a month it has created a steady stream of calls and emails, not to mention amazing web traffic to my site.  

I have been focusing my marketing on "brand awareness" and "consumer education" as opposed to just offering a deal and trying to get new clients.  I would rather have a stead stream of people with peaked interest than those who are just looking for the best deal in town.  You see...we offer THE BEST service a cost effective rate.  Not to mention we keep your pets safe and happy at home instead of locked up in a kennel for a week while you're out of town.  

All in all, I'm blessed beyond words with how the business is going!  Thank you to my sitters, clients and most of all the advertisers that are helping make this business a household name!!

Don't Look At Me With Those Puppy Dog Eyes....

No really...those puppy dog eyes will NOT save your little butt, no matter how small or cute, when you've left your toy laying on the keyboard of my laptop.  ^^shrugs^^

A couple weeks ago...WOW really, two weeks ago a friend of mine found a pit bull in his neighborhood.  He kept the pit for a few nights while I worked on a solution for the poor guy.  He was dirty, tired, half starved and had the cut ears of a trained fighter.  Thankfully he was no worse for wear and in good temper, so Mary agreed to pull him for rescue!  

**shakes pom-poms**

We loaded up pretty pitty and headed to the Republic Animal Control to drop off the pit for Mary to take into rescue and find a forever home that suited him well.  The 20 minute car ride was uneventful and he really was a doll.  He was very sweet, easy to crate and all in all just happy to be alive.

Upon arriving at animal control, for whatever reason, Client decided to roam around and look at all the puppies while Sherry and I worked on logistics and intake forms.  **BAD IDEA** Ok well not so much...he comes out of one of the dog runs with this "super cute and cuddly" little black male weiner dog.  He has me hold the dog while he texts a picture to his fiance.  **BAD IDEA**  Puppy is in the car with us headed back to Springfield.  (read 'what the hell, this is going to end REALLY BAD and not only am I going to have to take this poor sweet puppy BACK to animal control in the morning, but Im going to have a client SUPER pissed at me and the other one sleeping on my couch for letting him bring the damn dog home in the first place).  I kicked him and puppy out of the car, almost without even stopping in the driveway in an attempt to make a getaway BEFORE fiance can come home.  Uhhuh...I drove far, far away like a big chicken!!

Next morning, I get a call "well we aren't in huge trouble, but there has to be some negotiating done here"
I reply "there is no WE and I don't negotiate with terrorists or fiances.  SORRY and I proceeded to laugh uncontrollably while listening for the demands of the fiance, not a terrorist!" 
Client: Well she said we could get another dog for Dougie to play with, but it has to be potty trained and house broken.
Me: Well potty training is easy when you do crate training at the same time. Its super easy, I'll walk you through it.

blah...blah..blah (read 20 minutes of smooth talking)

Me: Okay Ill come by the office and pick him up, he can live with me for a couple weeks while I potty train him and house break him.  Ill use him for my BNI presentation and then you can take him home to the fiance and VIOLAH we saved two lives at once!

WTF How did that happen??


Baby has gone to Relay For Life, SAAF House board meeting, Relay Wrap Up meeting, been neutered, been wormed, gone on a million car rides and somehow become a normal part of my daily routine.  OH and ps, not only is he potty trained and crate trained...but he can "sit".  **no frogs were harmed while that picture was taken.**

Wooo I rule!!

Now that brings me to my point...don't look at me with those big puppy dog eyes...they may have worked on Client to get him to bring you home from the pound.  They may have worked on fiance to get her to let client adopt you.  But they will get you out of trouble for sending messages to friends on facebook when you've gone and left your toy on the keyboard.  **ahem**

FLASHMOB!! Do It!!

Turn Around...5-4-3-2-1

Why Jazzercise?  You mean other than the fitness aspect??  Because its a good time...more than the rockstar fun workout, the friendship are amazing and life long.  Since I was a student at SMS I have Jazzed on and off...I'm now 30.  The women there are their own sisterhood - we do things together and share the jazzerspirit.  We laugh, cry, shed pounds, go through relationships, have babies, get married, get divorced, lose loved ones, gain pounds, break ankles, get in car accidents...all together.

Last night was the first Springfield Jazzercise flash mob.  We sort of took over the Hollywood Theatre steps and made a little scene...but the crowd loved it and we had a blast!!  It was a great opportunity for us to not only share the jazzerlove, but spread awareness for the center.  Its FUN marketing.  Ps...everything is jazzer-something.  Jazzerbooty, jazzerlove, jazzersister...you know, its a jazzerthing.  :)  Hell we even have jazzertogs clothing!

Shake, shake, shake...**shakes jazzer pom-poms**

Day 30: Your Fav Song From This Time Last Year

Haven't Met You Yet - Michael Buble

Looking back on last year, I find it crazy ironic that this was my favorite song from last spring.  I was really dreading celebrating another year with the Navy boy...and there were lots and lots of developments in my life.  So see...I just hadn't met Mr Right.  I hadn't met some of my dearest friends.  I hadn't hired some of my amazing sitters.  I hadn't been adored and appreciated by some of my favorite clients.  I just hadn't met you yet!

Day 29: A Song From Your Childhood

Walking On Sunshine - Katrina and the Waves

I remember this song coming on the radio and dancing around the house like a goofball!  My mom would grab my hands and spin me around and around.  That makes me laugh and get dizzy just thinking about it....I can still hear us singing!  Too fun.

Day 28: A Song That Makes You Feel Guilty

Look It Up - Ashton Shephard

This song makes me feel guilty, but not because I cheated.  Because I would take great pleasure in telling one of the bastards wife how awful he is and some of the hateful things he has said about her!  

The word is faithful - It don't mean sneakin' around with a trashy blonde old man!

The word is liar - But you'll need boots to wade through all the bull storm chaser!

The word is sober - It's right next to hell is freezin' over, flyin' pigs, and all that stuff navy boy!

The word is baby - It's what you call me and it's how you act every time I call your bluff landscaper!

I said go, goodbye, get lost, get out, get gone -The word is over!  As in your games and bullshit are done. As in you're an idiot for not realizing what you've lost!  As in you are so not worth my time and effort. 

As in you stepped so far over your boundaries that there is no saving a friendship or business relationship AND you're so lucky I don't ruin your marriage old man and tell the whole planet about that ole' blonde with a little junk in her trunk you've been dittling for 3 years!  Ooooph.

Day 27: A Song That You Wish You Could Play

I have accepted the fact that I am NOT musically inclined when it comes to playing an instrument.  It is something I really do not wish to learn.  Sorry....song challenge, FAIL!

Day 26: A Song That You Can Play On An Instrument

Chopsticks

Uhm yeah, I got nothing in the instrumental department!

Day 25: A Song That Makes You Laugh

You Lie - The Band Perry

This song is dedicated to all of the poor choices in men I have made.  It is also dedicated to all of the sleezeball salesmen I know.  Oh and one super special old man, whom had a serving of crow that I hope was rough going down and coming out!!  Oh you lie...its who you are, its what you do!!

For the Dog?

And the saga of the Landscaper continues.

As I was strolling into the house at 8:15pm after what was quite possibly the longest day of my life, the landscaper calls.  I answered barely and reluctantly (read with more hesitation that I can express and ICE in my voice).  Simon (the sweet sweet dog...whom I lovingly refer to as "little man") had eaten a blister pack of Ambien and the landscaper "didn't know who else to call".
RIIIGHT because you know the vet, the ER vet and poison control wouldn't have been able to help??

Needless to say I jumped online and googled the main ingredients and looked up possible outcomes.  I instructed him to pour peroxide down Simon's throat to induce vomiting and read as much info offline from my pet portal as I could find.

So much for a hot shower and relaxing...I spent the better part of the evening (read all night) texting and talking to him, helping him get poor Simon through the night alive.  Again - why not go to the ER??  I'm still not convinced Simon had more than one or two pills and he was just exaggerating to get my attention.  Just sayin.

By the time the sun rose again the landscaper was bringing up the "good ole days" and talking about the past and yadda yadda yadda.  Not only was I physically exhausted from Friday, but now I was mentally drained as well.  He missed our conversations, he missed the love and support for his battle with cancer, most of all he just missed my face.  (read, someone please shoot me)

I resorted to texting only because I was physically incapable of holding a conversation with him anymore.


The following Friday was the Big Hair Ball benefiting the SAAF House.  For whatever reason I felt compelled to text him a picture of me all done up in full makeup and big hair.  His reply "Amazing, Gorgeous.  Please have fun!!"  I couldn't reply or send anything else for fear of my makeup melting! 

Not only was my heart aching from talking to him and having emotions stirred up again, but this was the weekend leading into Relay week.  Tuesday was the survivor dinner, Friday was Relay, Sunday was Rockin For Remission.

By Wednesday I couldn't function, all I did was cry.  It was ridiculous.  RIDICULOUS!  As I was walking into my BNI meeting, I texted him that he was a "selfish idiot" and that he needed "to pull his head out of his ass" and realize "how amazing I am for loving him just the way he is - bow legged, common, cancer patient, landscaper".  Apparently this caught him off guard - quite frankly it caught me off guard that I actually sent it.  He replied "Wow, did you mean to send this to ME???????"  I let it ride....until after BNI at which point I could barely breath and wanted nothing more that a soft pillow and a nap.  I really unleashed in the subsequent three texts - telling him exactly how I felt and why he was a selfish idiot who couldn't battle alone and so many more things!

Thursday I was walking a dog and went past one of his crews....I texted him that I was sorry for unleashing on him, but that I meant every word I'd said.  No reply.

Friday and Saturday were Relay and honestly I was too busy to even think about him, or my own life.  We raised $325K for ACS!!  YAY for a world with more birthdays!

Sunday was Rock For Remission in Reeds Springs.  We raised $520 and had a great time!!

Monday I caved, I texted him again - "Did I mention how truly sorry I am for unleashing on you last week?"  He replied "Yes, you did.  I deserved it, you deserve better and Im sorry this has been so unfair to you".  Today is Tuesday - and somehow what seemed a dead affair is blossoming again with deeper understanding and a renewed love.

Please, shoot me now before my heart gets broken.  (Again)

Day 24: A Song You Want Played At Your Funeral

      Something More        Pocket Full of Sunshine

        Sugarland              Natasha Beddingfield

Either of these songs would be fine played at my funeral....I'd like to think I am **shaking pom-poms** while looking for something more and sharing my pocket full of sunshine!

Day 23: A Song You Want Played At Your Wedding

Butterfly Kisses - Bob Carlisle

I am a daddy's girl, even though I lost him a little over 9 years ago.  My dad is the reason I am the person I am today - he instilled the ambition and confidence in me that has allowed me to be strong and chase my dreams!

Day 22: A Song That You Listen To When You're Sad

 

This Year's Love - David Grey

This is another song added to my player courtesy of "the Muse". Enough said.

Day 21: A Song That You Listen To When You're Happy

Love Shack - B-52's

When you think big hair and crazy fun - this song comes to mind.  When Im happy, I put in my favorite 80s music!!

Journey, Cindi Lauper, Bon Jovi, Duran Duran, GNR, Madonna (before she was a psycho)

Day 20: A Song That You Listen To When You're Angry

Dancing Queen - ABBA

Can you think of a better song to play when you're just in a bad mood?  I mean really - we all need to reveal our inner dancing queen once in a while.  :)

Day 19: A Song From Your Favorite Album

Southern Hallelujah - Trace Adkins

This song cracks me up!  I seem to be a walking canundrum - I was born in Michigan and lived there til I was 8, which makes me a northern doll; however, I grew up in Florida which also makes me a southern grit.  Now...us northern dolls so pretty-please - dot our i's and cross our t's, so proper!  Us southern grits have this zippity-doo-dah what they do to ya southern hallelujah.

There isn't a day that goes by that someone (read the dirty little secret, the landscaper, my favorite oil change guy, the poor drive through person trying to figure out "Large, Diet Coooooke, no aaaaayce with a lemon wedge) doesn't comment on something I have said - certain words particularly stick out: Coleslaw, Oil, Dollar, Slice, Coke, Ozark.  And of course the more upset or worked up I get about a topic the more the Northern shines through. 

Day 18: A Song You Wish You Heard On The Radio

Big Black Horse and a Cherry Tree - KT Tunstall

This is one of those feel good, rock out songs that I wish I heard on the radio.  About the only time I get to hear it is if we're doing an old school class at Jazzercise, and this is one of my favorite routines!  Beth busts it out more than the other instructors!!

Day 17: A Song You Hear Often On The Radio

Rain Is A Good Thing - Luke Bryan

I have seen Luke Bryan in concert and he opened with the song.  Anytime it is cloudy or sprinkling or raining, you can usually find this song on ANY of the three country stations in town.  Its way over played.  Like most good things, it is great in moderation!

Day 16: A Song You Used To Love

Bless The Broken Road - Rascal Flatts

Once upon a time this song brought me joy beyond joy and filled my heart with warmth.  Now it makes me think of seven years spent sacrificing my hopes, dreams, wishes and potential! 

Day 15: A Song That Describes Me

My Give A Damn Is Busted - Jo Dee Macina

Truth be told my Give-a-Damn is on overdrive.  HOWEVER...you get approximately 32 seconds (read 32 for real seconds, not football seconds) to tell me all about it before we're going to figure out a game plan to fix it.  Oh and if you just want to bitch, well then you've come to the wrong person - because in that case, my give-a-damn is beyond fixable.  Love you, Mean it!! 

Day 14: A Song That Noone Would Expect Me To Like

Chantilly Lace - The Big Bopper

I LOVE this song!  I have always LOVED this song!  When I was with my mom - the oldies were on the radio as loud as you could stand it!  I have lots of fond memories from my childhood that include my mom and I dancing and singing to the oldies.  Good Times, Good Times!

Day 13: A Song That Is A Guilty Pleasure

Party In The USA - Miley Cyrus

So who's that chick rocking kicks?  Uh yeah - that is so me, just ask Mellentine!  HA HA HA All I see are stilettos...moving my hips like yeah!  I can neither confirm or deny that when this song comes on the radio I turn it up LOUD and rock out like Im a teenager in my room with a hairbrush as my mic!  

So put your hands up, nod your head like yeah and move your hips like yeah....Its a party in the USA!

Day 12: A Song From A Band You Hate

Womanizer - Britney Spears

There are a multitude of reasons I can't stand Britney - her musical, uhm abilities are just the beginning.  But she does have a point - if you want crazy, she's got your crazy!

Day 11: A Song From My Favorite Band

Shakin Hands - Nickelback

Its tough to be a secret when you're one of the BEST!  

Oddly enough, I have made it this far by just shaking hands - however, I am the best in the business and I have my eye on the prize - to be a household name!!  City hall isn't getting a hold of ANY of my books and I stay close to my five-star friends.  

Be Strong

I texted with "the landscaper" today.  Apparently mother nature is not being nice to the business, but alas he is hanging on.  I jokingly reminded him that by now surely Mother Nature was menopausal which explains the hot and cold weather changes.  Snowing one morning, 80 by the afternoon - got to be menopause!  He laughed and more than anything said he appreciated the laugh.

We joked like the good old days and lots was said without being said.  I managed to make it almost 30 minutes without crying.  I miss him!!  I miss him so much, but I can't let myself get drawn into anything with (#1) a married guy (#2) who refuses to accept support while battling cancer (#3) that is a client.

So again I say...stop crying, really this time!

Day 10: A Song That Makes You Fall Asleep

 

The Fray

Oh the Fray...yeah there have been a lot of days that were labeled "A Fray Kind Of Day".  The Fray soothes me and calms me.  It doesn't make me cry or make me think....it just calms me down.  :)

Oddly enough, the Fray reminds me of the Landscaper (now that I think about it).  He used to say "well its a Fray kind of day" which is why I started listening to the band - trying to figure out what he was talking about.  While I miss him, he has some emotional demons that I just can't deal with...and telling him to see a counselor probably wouldn't go over so well.  Just Sayin.

Day 9: A Song You Can Dance To

Watermelon Crawl - Tracy Byrd

Line dancing is by far something that escapes me - except this song!  I can wiggle and jiggle and for sure be all you ever saw!!

If you drink, don't drive - do the watermelon crawl, have you all!!

Day 8: A Song You Know All The Words To

So What - Pink

This is MY karaoke song (read along with a million other people across the nation).  I belt it out loud and proud at Shultz N Dooleys, Parrot Cove and anywhere else that has an open mic!!

This is MY anthem - I don't need a man (or anyone else) to take care of me.  I have my own money, I manage my own successful company, I pay my own bills, I make my own fun and most of all I am who I am!  

 Lord knows I have my own attitude...and I do wear it tonight, I get in some trouble and I do start fights!

It is a jazzercise routine that I can do in my sleep without an cuing...and I have been known to throw in the routine while doing karaoke.  

Oddly enough, while this has always been my song of empowerment that I know all the words to - now that I am recently single it is even more empowering. I've got my rock moves, and I don't need you tonight! :)

Day 7: A Song That Reminds You of a Certain Event

Single Ladies - Beyonce

This song will forever remind me of performing at the Kansas City Chiefs half-time performance in October of 2009.  The jazzercise gals took the field in honor of breast cancer awareness and rocked the house in pink tops and black jazzertogs!

Bonus points if you can spot me!! 

Get a cape and tights!

I reluctantly met with a sales person today (read I had to drag myself kicking and screaming because I had exhausted all possible excuses known to mankind, and this guy is the only sales person I know who can out rebuttal me).

I have been called by him once, and blew him off completely because I had been contacted by not one, not two, but three other people from his company.

His initial phone call being an EPIC FAIL, he took the liberty of emailing me - detailing some of the benefits of his company for mine and so forth.  I replied, thanks but no thanks.

He visited my BNI group and shook my hand.  I kindly smiled and introduced him to the gentleman standing next to me and excused myself to "prepare for the meeting" (read to give me a swift exit to get the hell away from this guy).  He visited again...twice! NO WAY...he did not turn in an application!!

OH SHIT...he joined my BNI group.  Damn it....now by default as the Secretary/Treasurer of the group I am obligated to meet with him as part of the mentoring process.  Not to mention that whole 1-2-1 thing which I sort of have to hold up my 1 part of the 1-2-1.  **sigh**

The meeting was actually pleasant.  He didn't try and sell me anything!!  He actually just wanted to get to know me and about my business because its a neat concept.  I found out he was one of the founders of one of my favorite college haunts (read the cute little Italian place across the street from my college house that I ate at DAILY).  He is actually pretty smart, lost his wife to breast cancer and is kind of super dad to two great kids.  Ok so he isn't a total douche once you get to know him....he is just eager to please and be part of the group.  He also doesn't have a sales background, so he is a bit heavy handed when it comes to cold calling.  All in all, he seems nice and is not only eager to please - but eager to learn and be a better sales person.  Excellent!

It made me laugh though because in his follow up email he said "you know, you're super powerful - like you need a cape and tights!".  He was very kind and it is most flattering to know that someone out there in the business community has heard great things and thinks highly of me and my business.

Day 6: A Song That Reminds You of Somewhere

We Need A Little Christmas

This song has always been one of my favorite Christmas songs - it makes me think of the days of working at Dixie Stampede, it brings back memories (read the smell of Rosco theatrical paint and Flagler Auditorium) of the musical "Mame" and of course it makes me think of snowy days up in Michigan searching my grandparents property for "the perfect Christmas tree"!

Don't Feel Too Old!

The people who are starting college this Fall across the nation were born in 1993.

They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.
Their lifetime has always included AIDS.
Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.
The CD was introduced the year they were born.
They have always had an answering machine.
They have always had cable.
They cannot fathom not having a remote control.
Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.
Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.
They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.
They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.
They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.
They never heard: "Where's the Beef?", "I'd walk a mile for a Camel", or "de plane Boss, de plane".
They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. even is.
McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.
They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.

Do you feel old yet?

Day 5: A Song That Reminds Me Of Someone

Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

For reasons that I'm not sure I understand or even want to come to grips with, this song reminds me of a near and dear friend who is sort of my "dirty little secret".  Oddly enough he has become one of my closest friends and I don't know what I would do some days without him to talk to or run away with and go shopping! 

I met him quite randomly at a completely informal lunch the Wednesday before Thanksgiving in 2009.  Honestly the minute I sat down it was "game on" and by the end of lunch I wanted to kill him (read or kiss him).  I hadn't decided yet.  (I have since made up my mind that I don't wish to kiss him....there are times when I still want to kill him)  While he would have the rest of the population believe he is a complete douche bag, he is pretty nice when he wants to be.  He has NO skills with the ladies and his ego isn't nearly as inflated as he wants you to think. In the last year and a half we have discovered that we share a brain and have entirely too much fun together.  The friendship is easy and fun - like life should be!  We're both vegetarians with a snarky sense of humor - I refuse to try and label the way things work - they just do.  "It is what it is"

For those keeping track, as much of a part of my life as he has - this is the first blog post about him.  Odd. For THAT person who really keeps track...this is "the Muse".

This song reminds me of him because when we were first getting to know one another he would give me a song each night before he said goodbye - he thinks my choice in music sucks.  This song has stuck with me and always reminds me of him.

Now that I think about it, he doesn't give me a song of the night anymore.  That makes me sad.

Day 4: A Song That Makes Me Sad

Dust In The Wind - Kansas

This is the song that played at my daddy's memorial service, and it is the song that goes with his memorial video.  Palm Sunday 2011 marks nine years since he left this earth.  His mission here was complete and I've never been more at peace with losing someone.  That being said, there isn't a day that passes that I don't miss him!

Day 3: Feel Good Song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NC0IhlquYlI

 Jane Deer Girls - Wildflower

Hey, I'm a wildflower, growin' in the sunshine, soakin' up the way of life I was raised in,
runnin' barefoot bloomin' in a summer shower, ponytail dancin' I can't help it. I-I'm a wildflower. 

To know me, is to know I am without a doubt a wild flower and my ponytail is ALWAYS dancin!!

Day 2: My Least Favorite Song

Kid Rock and Cheryl Crow - Picture

I can say without fail that every time this song comes on it puts me in a bad mood and I change the station! 

Day 1: My Favorite Song

Fishing In The Dark - Nitty Gritty Dirt Band

This  has ALWAYS been my favorite song, I turn it up and belt out the lyrics shamelessly every single time it is playing!  Its fun, its whimsical and its just a cute feel good song.  :)

People Get Married Daily! Updated

"In honor of Royal Wedding week I have decided to do one thing English everyday..today I drove to work on the wrong side of the road."  -Fence Boy

Uhhuh and you guys all claim I'm the accident queen?  Fence Boy is has that in the bag!

Anyways, so if you have been living under a rock (like I apparently have been) than you may or may not have gotten the memo that it is "Royal Wedding Week" because good ole Prince Harry William and some chick Kate Catherine are getting married.  

I'm pretty sure people get married (and divorced) on a daily basis, but this is apparently a Big Deal.  I will never understand why the media (and subsequently the public) go so crazy over royal weddings and other such nonsense.  Personally, I think if people spent as much time paying attention to their loved ones, spouses, children, friends and/or family as they do celebrity gossip - maybe the divorce rate and counseling bills would go down.  

Just Sayin.

I'd Rather Peel Wallpaper!

I have some projects that I'd like to tackle now that I'm single and "reclaiming" my space.  One of them is peeling the Art Deco Era wallpaper from the hall bathroom.  Its lovely...cream with pink and blue seashells.  (read makes me want to gag).  Did I mention I no longer live in Daytona Beach, FL...I'm currently in Springfield, MO??

I digress.

I was letting the solvent sit before peeling another panel of paper off when I hear "ding".  Ohh I have a message, lets go see who it is.  :)  Aww, its the Storm Chaser.  The 'conversation' (read indecent proposal) went as follows:

SC: hey 
me: yes dear?

SC: what are u doing

me: honestly...peeling wallpaper in my hall bathroom

SC: that sucks

do u want to suck my cock

me: not really...I have been waiting for years to get that awful wallpaper out of the bathroom. Wow, what a proposition. Are you drunk?

ps that was a legit question...

SC: nope just really horny 

me: nice. 

SC: yes it was 

me: I don't like drunk "storm chaser". (incase you were wondering)

SC: I usually dont get that drunk

i havent been that drunk in a long time

me: I figured as much....I just left an alcoholic, so needless to say I was less than impressed. I'm covered in solvent and wallpaper glue.  (read Im NOT interested, peeling wallpaper is more intersting)

SC: i see

?

so u coming over and give me a blow job

me: You want me to give up the joys of putting solvent that would stun a yak on circa 1990's wallpaper in a tiny, very poorly ventilated bathroom to come over and get you off...honestly I can't decide on which would be more fun?  I'll pass.  Bye.

Oddly enough, he thought I was kidding.  Go Figure!! 

On the home improvement front - the awful frosted sliding glass shower doors have been removed and disposed of, the shower has been refinished and all but one panel of wallpaper has been removed.  Now to replace the light fixture, wash and patch the walls and then paint!  VIOLAH! The transformation from Art Deco to Zen is almost complete!!   

Accept His Apology, Once!

Bright and early (read nearly 3 hours into my day) a text message arrives: 8:39am from Storm Chaser "Hey Whats Up, Sorry about last night".

After a dozen or so apologies and learning that he spent most of the weee hours puking and even called in sick to work...I almost thought he'd learned his lesson and deserved a second chance to make a first impression.  ALMOST.

At 10:56am I relented and said "I hope you're feeling better doll".  He said he was sorry (again) and was going to take a nap to feel better and hoped I was having a good day and enjoying walking dogs.

He did ask if he could have a second chance...and I guess MAYBE if he behaves himself we'll give it a try.  :)

Chase a Storm Chaser??

EPIC FAIL!

For effect - EPIC FAIL!

There is a reason he is 39 and single.  That is all I have to say about that.  So my first impression - I meet him at his place and he was drunk.  (That was sorta my fault)  I was supposed to meet him at 7pm after a new client consultation.  HA - Did I say 7pm, I meant 8pm.  My clients love their dogs more that the whole wide world....and I can tell you everything you ever wanted to know, and then some about those two dogs.  **Its actually good because clients like these when they are happy with service tend to tell their friends how amazing I am.**  Well I didn't leave my clients home until 7:48pm.  I had left my phone in the car, as to not get distracted, during the consultation.  He thought I had blown him off and started drinking at his place. By the time I arrived, he was sitting in his lounge chair sloshy drunk and very lonely.

Needless to say...I am less than enthusiastic about a second encounter!  Did I mention, EPIC FAIL??

Save A Life, or Seven.

 I don't always have a lot of extra time, well actually I rarely have extra time.  Unless of course there is a dog in need of said "extra" time.

I received an email about a transport needing an extra driver on Saturday.  Springfield to Rolla on Saturday morning for "passengers 3-8, 10".  It wasn't the normal Dane Train, but a friend of a dane train friend who does Westie Rescue.  Truth be told, I've never met Kerin, but she thinks the pet mobile is cute and she has some dogs in need of a road trip.  That is good enough for me to take 4 hours out of my Saturday!

Oddly enough overnight pet sitting ends at 7am and I didn't have any breakfast rounds to make so a 7am pick up of seven SWEET, stinky rescue puppies was all sorts of fitting into my agenda.  I met some lovely ladies with big hearts at 7am over at the northside Lowes. They tossed the pups into the pet mobile and off I went towards Rolla.  The pups would then be transferred to Raj and eventually end up someplace in Indiana. 

7am and seven lives saved!  Thank you ladies for letting me be a part of the journey!

Let Them Grovel

Once in a while it is good to let people have time to really think about what they have done - be it good, bad or indifferent.  Let them stew, let them process, let them grovel.

Its usually not a good thing to give in immediately.  There is no sense in showing your cards...

Baseball Is Boring

Truth be told, I am a football kinda gal.  Baseball isn't really my thing, but as a red blooded American living in mid-America I go to a few games and love being a part of the crowd.

Today is "Opening Day" and as life would  have it the KC Royals and St. L Cardinals are both playing their openers away.  Also as life would have it the schedule exhibition game between the St Louis and Springfield Cards was canceled due to the weather being 31 degrees the other night.

I will embrace the funky chicken, the 7th Inning Stretch and of course Cold Beer and Peanuts.  PLAY BALL!!

Tell The Whole Story

Apparently there is some confusion.  So here goes:

The landscaper has been a client for a while, and has apparently been completely infatuated with me since the day we met in late 2007.  I had never really talked to him or thought anything more of him than any other person. Although, he is pretty cute. He always sat on the opposite side of the room from me and anytime I said hi to him he clammed up and turned red. I assumed he was just really shy and moved on with my day.  When he needed service for his pups he would usually text.  The times that he did call he stuttered and stammered along, again I just assumed he was painfully shy.

This past summer he started having to go up to Nebraska frequently because his uncle was sick. We talked quite a bit via text message, it was really just Q&A and an occasional "Hey you haven't needed service, so I hope all is well with your uncle, you're all in my prayers".  Nothing major, just friendly.

My grandmother, who lives in Arizona, was scheduled to have back surgery while he was on a trip to Nebraska. She was supposed to go in Wednesday and my mom, who lives in Florida, was going to go out on Friday to bring her home from the hospital and care for her for a couple weeks following her surgery.  He knew about the surgery and was returning the friendly gesture by keeping tabs on how my Grandmother was doing. While he was up in Nebraska things with my family got a little hectic.  My mother collapsed at the country club and had to go in for an emergency hysterectomy.  SO that changes things quite a bit.  I was now flying out to take care of my grandmother since my mother was obviously in no shape to fly across the country, more less be a caregiver herself.

He was scheduled to be home around dinner time on Thursday and I was getting on plane mid-afternoon Thursday.  There was only a three hour window, but with highway traffic and airplanes neither of us were willing to take a chance.  Needless to say we did a bit of communicating to be certain that his uncle was stable and that the furkids were not going to be neglected or miss a meal or potty break!  

All the sudden the roles were reversed and he was checking on and praying for me. I spent the entire month of September in Arizona taking care of my Grandmother and making arrangements for her after I came back home.  Somehow, by the grace of God, his uncle did well and he did not need to go up to Nebraska the month I was gone...however I had a sitter on stand-by just in case.

While I was in Arizona we texted constantly.  We couldn't really talk because there was a big time difference, grandma slept on and off and most of the time he was around mowers and noisy equipment.  He woke me up daily, not realizing until a month or so after I got home there was a three hour time difference. Oops...I didn't mind.  He made me smile.  I'm not sure at what point exactly I realized I had a major big crush on him, but by the time I got home I was ready to fall into his arms.

The Tuesday I flew home, his uncle passed.  I was on the runway at the airport when he called me. As soon as he hung up with me, he left for Nebraska.  That trip was agonizing for him - we talked, a lot.  We shared stories about family, we shared information about one another, I tried to stay positive for him and be his "bright spot".  

By the time we finally kissed for the first time, we were both already falling for one another.  Refer back to Rule #11 - Its In His Kiss.  We had spent so much time talking and texting that we'd actually developed a relationship with one another based on communication.  Completely forgotten concept in 2010!

In October he went in for some tests because he had been having headaches and some strange pains. What they found was a cancer in his hip. Thanks to being a volunteer and advocate for the American Cancer Society since my daddy passed, I knew in my heart what those tests were going to say.  I didn't know where, but I knew it was cancer.  The next month he had lots of questions and I had nothing but answers and support to give.  We both decided right then and there that our paths had crossed for a reason, and he'd spent three years pining for me in secret because he needed me now, not back then.  I guess that was our way of justifying things.

The medicine made him sick and I tried to offer my support and encouragement as much as he would let me.  He hated the thought of me seeing him like that...after all, he is a tough guy.  He tried to convince me that this was HIS battle and that I didn't need to worry.  He also knew that his being sick just reopened the memory of losing my daddy.  He continued on the meds and tried to push his treatments off until after Christmas.  His first chemo cycle was on my 30th birthday.  His second chemo cycle was on kickoff for Relay For Life.  His third was Valentines Day.  Needless to say, it was a long winter. He has been getting increasingly sick from the treatments and is overwhelmed.  I was "the warm spot in his heart" and "what kept him going".  He has been trying really, really hard to fight this battle alone - repeating that this is "his deal" and to please not tell anyone that he was sick.  I can respect that.  He has not really pushed me away, but he is certainly not let me be there as much as either of us would like me to be there.  See Rule #7 - Catch and Release.

While all of this is going on, I was in two - yes two, car accidents.  Tuesday before Thanksgiving I was rear ended while sitting at a stoplight.  Again January 24th I was rear ended while sitting at a stop light.  The January accident totaled my car and damn near took me out as well.  Somehow I went from being the supportive, cheerful one in the relationship to being the one needing the support.  I was miserable and in a great deal of pain.  It ended up that I had severe whiplash, a vertibre that was way out of line, two bulging disks and some tears in my shoulder.  I was on too many pills to even know my name for a few weeks.

He was dealing with chemo treatment that is having ZERO effect on his cancer and I was dealing with spine and neck injuries. We were both completely focused on the other and at the same time trying to run our business and keep ourselves alive.

What really upset me was the day I went in for my shoulder scope, I sent him a text message that said simply "baby I'm really scared".  He replied back "Don't be, I'm feeling good today and my blood work came back at steady levels last week".  I replied back "I'm having my shoulder scope today, but I'm glad you're having a good day today."  I was more than a little heartbroken at his reply and felt like he was totally selfish and didn't care about me in the least.  Granted my shoulder was NOTHING when compared to battling cancer. But being the dumb emotional woman that I am, I decided I would give him a little letting alone.  In his defense I shouldn't have expected him to remember what day I was going in to the Orthopedic and my text was less than exacting on why I was scared.  I left the ball in his court.  The next couple days I really didn't pick up the phone or laptop much because I slept most of the time. (See Rule #12 - The Nurse Lies for commentary on the shoulder scope)  In the subsequent days we talked a couple times, but didn't see one another.  It has just been mostly texts and tears the last couple weeks, my heart has had enough.  See Rule #18 - Stop Crying.

Monday I sent him an email asking him to drop my cd in the mail - knowing he wasn't in any shape to get out and see me and also knowing I didn't have the emotional wit about me to go visit him after being so disappointed.  See Rule #21 - Life Isn't Always Great and also Rule #23 - Stop Crying, Really This Time. 

And today, ladies and gentlemen, is Wednesday.  I hope that everything is clear as mud now.