Go Girl!!

Back in November Lisa asked me to run over and sign her up for the Go Girl 1/2 since it was the last day to register as an early bird, and of course since she lived in Willard I gladly went.

Now, somehow in the course of signing her up, I too signed up.  I am not a runner - I am a dog walker.  Yes, I am a dog walker.  One of the arguments used against me was that I walk several miles a day, so I had the stamina to run a half marathon already.  Uhhhh ok sure.  Did I mention I am a dog walker, not a runner?

Our first training run was a disaster.  I was in pain.  I was in tears.  I hated my friend Lisa.  Running 3 miles - a measly little 5k, about killed me.  Now mind you, I went into this training run thinking "I walk 5 or 6 miles a day, running 3 will be a piece of cake".  I was SO WRONG!  So So So very wrong.  Did I mention I hated my friend Lisa?

May 10 at 1:50pm in the Bass Pro parking lot.  We're picking up our race packets - complete with race bibs and shoe chips for timing - I still hate my friend Lisa, only now I'm hugging her and trying not to vomit wondering if its too late to just bow out gracefully.  We are going to do this...we are going to meet in the morning at 6:45am and we are going to finish a half marathon!!  WEEEEEEEE

I hate my friend Lisa.  :x

Saturday May 11, 6:45am.  Go Girl starting line in the Bass Pro Parking Lot!! we're warmed up, geared up, and ready to run! I just want to puke and run far far far away from the starting line.

All in all the first mile wasn't that bad - I found my pace and got my stride down.

Mile 2 is just ahead...ooohhh and so is the turn off to do just the 5k!  I could run the 5k and call it good.  What the hell - 3.1 Miles is an accomplishment in itself.

Mile 3 - I was in awe of "Brentwood" and both old/new "Southern Hills" flower beds that were already planted and filling the air with amazing scents.  Goo - sweet they have goo at the water stations.  I probably should have brought my own, but woo hoo they have goo for us!

Mile 4 - Hey we are like super close to my house - I can go straight up that hill, oohhh a hill, yeah nevermind Ill keep running the course.

Mile 5 - Ohhh Dancing Mule coffee...oh wait, they have goo.  Thanks for the goo!

Mile 6 - Yeah we are like half way, I so have this!!  Holy crap Ive run 1/4 marathon!!  More goo!!

Mile 7 - Im getting tired, this is insane and why on earth am I all the way over in Roundtree??  Where the hell is the water and goo, I demand more gooooooooo

Mile 8 - Hammons Field ok yeah, downtown. Im downtown.  I need to be allllll tttheeeee waaayyyyy on the Southside.  Im tired. Im hungry.  This is stupid.  I can't do this.  I don't want to do this.  LISA I HATE YOU!  The tears start and I lose my breath as we round the corner to the Shrine Mosque.  Am I seriously having a panic attack while running a half marathon...holy crap I need to get it together before I fall on my face or pass out in the middle of the street.

And then the angle of mercy appears in the form of a water station volunteer - she hands me a bag of magic beans.  They are called Honey Stingers.  She also gives me goo and Gatorade and says I'm so close to the 10 mile mark I cant give up.

Mile 9 - One more mile, one more measly mile and I've hit 10 miles.  Its Saturday morning at I've run 9 miles...what the hell have the rest of you slackers done??  Shit I'll bet everyone else is still wiping the sleep from their eyes and drinking coffee.  Ha Ha bitches I so have this!  (as a side note what the hell are in those honey stingers??  Xanax??)

Mile 10 - 10 miles.  10 miles.  Ha ha ha at this point all thats left is a 5k.  3.1 more miles and I'm done.  soooo really a half marathon is just a 10 mile warm up for a 5k.  I'm 30 min from the finish line.  All the sudden my feet are moving quicker and I'm no longer counting my steps.  Ohhh more goo!! Mmmm goooo.

Mile 11 - ohhhh cowbell!  This crowd rocks!  More goo....banana flavored, warm snot! I will take it!  Is that sunshine??  OMG SUNSHINE STREET!

Mile 12 - I can hear the announcer.  OMG ONE MORE MILE!!

Mile 13 - holy shit I'm done!!  OMG I'M DONE!  OMG OMG OMG  I am randomly grabbing hands with the closest people to me - one of which is a stranger  but who cares!

FINISH LINE!!  Did they just announce my name?  Is that a medal going on my neck?  Why am I crying?  Did I actually run a half marathon in 4:02?  I'm not last!!  I need water! Water!! SMOOTHIES!!  Smoothies in etched flutes! Im not dead!  I can still feel most of my body parts! Awww carnation!  BANANAS!  Massage for my legs!!  More Bananas!  More smoothie!  HUGS FROM EVERYONE!  Bananas!  HUGS!  Pictures!!  This is so cool!

What I have learned from this is that its a mental game you play with yourself.  There were people on the course with me, at water stations, and along the sidelines cheering me on and encouraging me with every single step.  There were friends texting me as I ran.  The only person telling me I couldn't finish was myself - so for anyone who thinks that they can't do something, they are so wrong.  I'm 32.  I'm fat.  I'm short.  I've had knee, back and shoulder surgery.  I've been in 3 car accidents with whiplash and multiple injuries.  If I can do it - anyone can do it.